The Vietnam War changed me.By 1969 I had already been in the U.S. military for a total of some eight years. Active and Reserve, enlisted and commissioned. Actually in or with, at one time or another, all four branches, each branch, by the way, with distinction, promotion and commendation. I had graduated from a military high school: Kentucky Military Institute, Lyndon, Ky, in 1947. I was a "Cold War warrior," believing the most urgent task for the Free Western world in the 1950s was to defeat World Communism. One of the reasons I gave my life to God as a Benedictine monk in 1952 was to help defeat Atheistic World Communism--which I had studied.
I introduced and later taught courses on Communism in a Catholic College Prep school we Benedictines ran, in Florida. I asked and received permission to become a reserve chaplain in case the Cold war got hot.
Serving in the Military as a chaplain, I began, with some sense of shock, to observe how the military and war itself corrupted men in the military ministry--the Chaplains.
John O'Connor, Navy Chaplain then serving in Vietnam talked to a small group of citizens one night in Philadelphia, in the late 1960s. He was astonishingly, unbelievably pro-war (and even wrote a book about it,
A Chaplain Looks at Vietnam.)
I realized that night in Philadelphia as I heard him talk, that the way one made it up the ranks as a chaplain was to
become more military than the military. O'Connor later became Chief of Chaplains and eventually Cardinal of New York. John Cardinal O'Connor, Archbishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese of New York for sixteen years, 1983-2000. His anti-gay rights campaign helped make him very controversial and often in the news.
War corrupts even the chaplains who serve. The loss of American life in Vietnam was enormous. By 1970 we had already lost one half of the sixty thousand we were to lose (not to speak of the wounded who would never have their lives back). When Daniel Ellsberg released the Pentagon Papers it was clear that the military and our Pentagon strategists had already decided that the war could not be won. But it was a secret that Nixon tried to protect, and tried to smear Ellsberg.
We still sent another 25,000 young men and women to their deaths in Vietnam, because our leaders could not publicly face the failure of the Vietnam project. Vietnam was an unnecessary and (now we know) unprovoked war. Repeat that number, please, out loud. Say that number, please 25,000. (Pause) A total of 60,000 deaths. Say that number out loud, please. (pause)
And this is only the count of our own losses. There were hundreds of thousands of other deaths, and many more who returned without limbs or wounded for life. I once saw in therapy a Vietnam vet who went over at age 18. He was trained to torture, and had found that he enjoyed it, and could not get over that years later. Could not put it behind him.
How could anyone put that behind them? His memory tortured him.
War corrupts everyone. Violence is corruptive, and brings out the worst in us.
John Cardinal O'Connor later admitted, to his credit, that his pro-war enthusiasm in Vietnam and his book
A Chaplain Looks at Vietnam was to his shame.
When I heard him speak in the middle of the conflict, it was to his glory. He came to talk in his Marine combat fatigues. He gloried in the rightness of the conflict and his part in it.
Violence corrupts us. War corrupts. During this time, I prayed and wondered. "What did you do, Daddy, during the war?" my children someday would ask me. I resigned my commission and became a peace activist, risking my employment and my young family by refusing to pay the war surcharge tax on telephones.
Vietnam changed me. It was a difficult time in America. I have a Vietnam combat veteran friend, a Marine helicopter pilot, who still believes we lost the war because of our weak-kneed liberals and anti-war protestors. He hated Kerry for his change of heart. During this last election, I found this to be true of a number of Vietnam veterans. They were ready to believe the Swift boat smears against Kerry. There were lessons of military imperialism that we did not, and have not learned.
War and violence corrupts us. My Vietnam friend and I no longer talk. I am one of those "liberals" destroying American resolve. Even today.
Now my government is waging another unprovoked and unnecessary war. It is being directed by two men, one who did not serve out his Guard obligation during Vietnam, and another who had multiple deferments and never served at all.
Bush and Cheney. They both believe that torture is necessary. Our own CIA, our military leaders including Powell, and those who have been tortured, McCain, for example, believe that 1) torture does not work; 2) it is against our nation’s principles, and 3) we have signed international treaties that forbid it.
If any of this makes sense to you, please repeat: "Lord have mercy" to each of the following statements:
Fact: In a democracy where we choose leaders by voting, we are responsible for what leaders do in our name. Lord, have mercy.
Fact: Independent groups, such as Amnesty International, believe we have killed as many as 100,000 civilians in Iraq, many of them women and children. "Lord have mercy"
Fact: there is no way to defeat an insurgency militarily. We should have learned this in Vietnam. "Lord have mercy"
Fact: Our invasion of Iraq has fueled and multiplied terrorism around the world. "Lord have mercy"
Fact: Our government believes in and uses torture against suspected terrorists.
"Lord have mercy"
Fact: We already have 20,000 dead and wounded of our own military.
"Lord have mercy"
Fact: Our own military leaders have said that this war cannot be won militarily "Lord have mercy"
Fact: There is no connection between the attacks on 911 and Iraq although our President until recently was repeating this lie. "Lord have mercy"
Fact. The Iraqi war has already cost some 250 billion dollars. The Iraqi war is bankrupting the future of many children. "Lord have mercy"
Fact: No bid contracts have been given to big corporations engaged in the war, and now Congress is cutting services to the poor and the children to pay for the war.
"Lord have mercy"
Fact: The Bush White House is refusing to fund Veteran’s benefits."Lord have mercy"
Fact: This Iraqi war was unnecessary, unprovoked, illegal according to International Law, and immoral. "Lord have mercy"
Fact: Not only our soldiers but innocent civilians are dying every day. "Lord have mercy"
Fact: Those who oppose this war are now labeled as unpatriotic and as hurting our military. "Lord have mercy"
Fact: Terrorism is a tactic. A tactic cannot be defeated. "Lord have mercy"
Fact: Our government, your government is killing and torturing innocent people in your name. "Lord have mercy"
Fact: To the extent that we do not speak up to deeds done in our name, we are complicit in the deeds. Lord have mercy.
Fact: Main stream broadcast media, especially Fox and radio talk show has been pro-war and pro-Bush White House. Lord have mercy.
Fact: Lord, we are still free to speak. Thank you Lord.
Fact: It is up to us to be informed. Thank you Lord.
Let us pray that our leaders hearts may be changed. We pray to the Lord, Lord hear out prayer.
Let us pray that our citizens become aware of the harm being done in their name. We pray to the Lord, Lord hear out prayer.
Let us pray for peace on earth. We pray to the Lord, Lord hear out prayer.
We are grateful for this time in America at this Thanksgiving, to be able still to say these things out loud. Thank you, Lord.
_____
Paschal Baute, November 19, 2005. Saturday before Thanksgiving, 2005
Write your own litany of sorrow, mercy and of also celebration. Use it for yourself and, if so led, also for others. It is up to us to re-create the kind of America we want to live in, anew, in each generation.