On being 77 and married 38 years
On being 77 and married 38 years.
After 30 years of listening to people’s problems--about 50,000 hours--after hearing many confessions as a Catholic priest, having been a monk alone with God and myself, also an athlete and a coach, having served in or with all four branches of the U.S. Military, and after 38 years of marriage, my views about life, love and this mystery we call God have changed.
I am lucky to have several loves. The most unexpected are my grandchildren. They are such a delight and keep on surprising us. I am lucky in love. I have friends who have not been lucky. Others not near as lucky as me. A marriage of 38 years is a miracle but also the outcome of much hard work --in accepting one’s own imperfections. There is nothing like having someone to tell you regularly but who still loves you. I am still an unfinished project married to a woman who likes finishing things. She has been a partner in a great outdoor life: gardning and creating a place of beauty, camping, boating, waterskiing, snow skiing, play with children, up time, down time.
I no longer think being some call God is up there somewhere pulling strings: this is way too small a God. The most powerful force in the universe is love. It can appear anywhere and everywhere. I believe in God as a vast mystery, call it the Holy Spirit if you will, of which Jesus is the best expression for me. I have found this Mystery in many places: in the good and evil in myself. In the remarkable gifts and caring of others, among inmates in our jail group, in many lovings and failures to love, in a remarkable diversity, among nature, deep inside the mystery of the universe. Where there is self giving love, there is God. God as I understand this mystery.
I do not understand those sincere believers ready to use their view of God to judge others. Judgment belongs to this mystery beyond us. The hidden power of pride among religious believers is vast. Also destructive of community. The longer I live the more I meet the Holy everywhere and the more I am humbled and can only live with humility and gratitude, determined to give something back for such blessings as I have experienced. If we have met the Holy, we are humbled and can only live in humility and gratitude and service. Servant leadership. Which may be my favorite phrase and there is a favorite book of the title. Faith itself is my most precious gift.
Yesterday I witnessed one wedding in town and helped plan another scheduled for today of a young couple together for five years who have a two month old precious baby, Nicholas. Every child, every person is a Divine Amazement. My storytelling with the Spellbinders chapter and local public schools aims to help children discovee Amazement–even though I cannot use religious concepts.
Yesterday Janette and I celebrated the miracle and mystery of 38 years of being married. Amazing. In so many ways. We planned to go skiing but decided not to risk being on the Interstate for three hours because a couple was depending on my witnessing their wedding at 5:30 p.m. We had a more leisurely day and lunch. I have now been married for about one half of my life. Sixteen years as a Benedictine monk. I prefer marriage with all its challenges and joys, raising three children and making a living and a home. Creating memories, Welcoming others into our lives. Living deeply, awake and aware to the mysteries of love. We are privileges to still offer hospitality to some forty couples seeking marriage each year and a place of beauty for the Spiritual Growth Network for 17 years and counting, to meet weekly and monthly.
Every day I sing and pray Mary’s Magnificat, "My soul magnifies the Lord." My most favorite song is "How Can I Keep from Singing."
Paschal Bernard Baute. December 30, 2006
After 30 years of listening to people’s problems--about 50,000 hours--after hearing many confessions as a Catholic priest, having been a monk alone with God and myself, also an athlete and a coach, having served in or with all four branches of the U.S. Military, and after 38 years of marriage, my views about life, love and this mystery we call God have changed.
I am lucky to have several loves. The most unexpected are my grandchildren. They are such a delight and keep on surprising us. I am lucky in love. I have friends who have not been lucky. Others not near as lucky as me. A marriage of 38 years is a miracle but also the outcome of much hard work --in accepting one’s own imperfections. There is nothing like having someone to tell you regularly but who still loves you. I am still an unfinished project married to a woman who likes finishing things. She has been a partner in a great outdoor life: gardning and creating a place of beauty, camping, boating, waterskiing, snow skiing, play with children, up time, down time.
I no longer think being some call God is up there somewhere pulling strings: this is way too small a God. The most powerful force in the universe is love. It can appear anywhere and everywhere. I believe in God as a vast mystery, call it the Holy Spirit if you will, of which Jesus is the best expression for me. I have found this Mystery in many places: in the good and evil in myself. In the remarkable gifts and caring of others, among inmates in our jail group, in many lovings and failures to love, in a remarkable diversity, among nature, deep inside the mystery of the universe. Where there is self giving love, there is God. God as I understand this mystery.
I do not understand those sincere believers ready to use their view of God to judge others. Judgment belongs to this mystery beyond us. The hidden power of pride among religious believers is vast. Also destructive of community. The longer I live the more I meet the Holy everywhere and the more I am humbled and can only live with humility and gratitude, determined to give something back for such blessings as I have experienced. If we have met the Holy, we are humbled and can only live in humility and gratitude and service. Servant leadership. Which may be my favorite phrase and there is a favorite book of the title. Faith itself is my most precious gift.
Yesterday I witnessed one wedding in town and helped plan another scheduled for today of a young couple together for five years who have a two month old precious baby, Nicholas. Every child, every person is a Divine Amazement. My storytelling with the Spellbinders chapter and local public schools aims to help children discovee Amazement–even though I cannot use religious concepts.
Yesterday Janette and I celebrated the miracle and mystery of 38 years of being married. Amazing. In so many ways. We planned to go skiing but decided not to risk being on the Interstate for three hours because a couple was depending on my witnessing their wedding at 5:30 p.m. We had a more leisurely day and lunch. I have now been married for about one half of my life. Sixteen years as a Benedictine monk. I prefer marriage with all its challenges and joys, raising three children and making a living and a home. Creating memories, Welcoming others into our lives. Living deeply, awake and aware to the mysteries of love. We are privileges to still offer hospitality to some forty couples seeking marriage each year and a place of beauty for the Spiritual Growth Network for 17 years and counting, to meet weekly and monthly.
Every day I sing and pray Mary’s Magnificat, "My soul magnifies the Lord." My most favorite song is "How Can I Keep from Singing."
Paschal Bernard Baute. December 30, 2006
posted by Paschal Baute at 6:00 AM
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